Drugs
Well, I never thought I could get through Year 12 alone: not only has my naturopath declared the reason my face currently resembles torn up asphalt after a minor apocalyptic event is because I overconsume fatty cheeses (noooooo!!!), she has also prescribed large quantities of vile herbal tablets to sustain me until December, at which point I will be allowed to promptly die of cerebral exhaustion and rigor scholaris (or whatever you call seizing up after thirteen years of unergonomic classroom chairs). Until then, though, I must survive on low-fat cheeses like fetta and ricotta (not bad) and boconcini (rubber), though I’ve continued to dabble in parmesan (you CANNOT eat pasta without parmesan, damnit!) and my school canteen’s nachos, which are conveniently sinful, and also cost the same as an all-day concession metcard.
But onto the drugs:
Actium & zinc compound, as modelled by Meowth. Am I the only one who thinks “actium” sounds like a fake “-ium”?
Womens support (sic), as modelled by Gengar (this may be a gendered reading, but I find the pinkness of the tablets too predictable. Maybe I should put the Apostrophe Protection Society onto the manufacturers…)
And finally, “precious pills”, as modelled by Snorlax. With my fearsome Chinese skillz (and a handy English translation underneath) I have managed to decipher the instructions, which suggest taking 8 tablets three times a day, as opposed to the 15 pills twice daily I’ve been told to take. Apparently this is to promote “fluid retention” (I thought that was a bad thing?) and to “clear heat” (though somehow I have my doubts that this will replace air conditioners any time soon).
I dunno about the fluid retention thing Aviva.
You should feel free to post my Jane Austen story also. But, like anonymously as it appears Ms O’Hare reads this, either that or you apologise as a reflex.
I think you should stop giving your stuffed animals pills, they all look a little zoned out
It was definitely reflex, though if I had wanted to stop people coming onto the blog I should have picked a more obscure URL, eh? (see, I’m practising for our Hedda Gabler creative SAC XD).
i agree with noni on the fact that all your pokemon(s) look high.
I’m going to have to agree with everyone else on this one V.
Snorlax is definitely stoned (“precious pills” indeed); Gengar is manically happy (what’s that word? Oh yeah: “ecstatic”) and Meowth’s eyes are like pin pricks.
You need to get those plushies into PokéRehab before it’s too late.
I would point out that those three pokemon look like that normally (so send your letters of complaint the way of Nintendo, please), but PokeRehab is such a hilarious idea for a game you might want to pitch it to them while you’re at it. Kinda reminds me of that South Park episode with the spoof of Guitar Hero, Heroin Hero (so, so wrong).