I spent most of December 2007 in Guangzhou, a city on Mainland China close to Hong Kong. Officially I was there studying Mandarin through a scholarship from the Chinese Consulate in Melbourne (who knew sappy essay competitions could get you so far?), and unofficially I was there spending my savings on cheap DVDs, stationery and sesame balls (麻求). Really, though, I learnt many important phrases there like, “虽然他午饭的味道不错，但我觉得我的午饭比他更辣” (“Although his lunch’s flavour isn’t too bad, I think mine is spicier”), and “见到了那个蝗虫真让我大吃一惊!” (“Seeing that locust made me flabbergasted!”). I also watched enough Zhang Yimou films to last me several lifetimes, and thanks to Farewell my Concubine, I will now have to bludgeon anyone who mentions Beijing Opera in my presence to death with my iPod.

Moving on though, I thought I’d post some photos of my time at South China University of Technology (华南理工大学), affectionately known as SCUT, for all to see:

This was the shower/toilet combo I shared with my roommate, accessed via the balcony. Originally the water was coming out red (rust? Terracotta residue?), but the water came out hot almost instantly, which is more than I can say for my shower at home. The toilet’s seat shattered part way through our first week (we didn’t have to pay for it, thankfully. They’re probably so used to it they have a Lavatory Fund, or something), and we soon learnt that flushing toilet paper was only a recipe for blockage. One of my most vivid memories of the whole trip, in fact, was chanting “厕所” (toilet) at the Dorm Supervisor and miming a plunger.

Daytime on ‘Couple Island’ (hunk of roughly circular land in the middle of SCUT’s West Lake), overrun by exhausted military students.

Nighttime on ‘Couple Island’, where clandestine uni student trysts abounded.

“What could possibly give you the impression we aren’t doing any work, Teacher?”

Ah, good ‘ol House-Taker. I started going there so much I was seriously considering getting their loyalty card.

Cyndi ain’t got nothing on me.

Although advertised as “fresh”, the powdery taste of my candle-warmed milk gave me a sneaking suspicion that the suppliers at this restaurant had been brainwashed by House-Taker and their glossy cardboard advertisements (see above). They made a ripper congee though.

Thinking of taking Puss for a stroll in this shopping mall? Think again.

One of our more memorable excursions out of the SCUT campus (which was virtually a nation state in its own right) was to 深圳, Shenzhen (literally “deep ditch” — and as far as I could see the founders weren’t far off the mark when they named it), a city an hour or so from Guangzhou. Here we explored the delights of “Mirror of the World”, a themepark designed at recreating famous landmarks from all over the globe, at a 1:15 scale. Thus we have a perfect rendering of the USA (and yes, that is the Eiffel tower to the left of Georgie-boy’s head).

Funny, I don’t remember our Rork looking so much like papier mache.

Another lovely day at SCUT. Maybe I should put in an application for my High School to get a lake (forgetting Water Restrictions Level 3.a for a second, of course).

Stay tuned for the report on the Shanghai portion of my holidays :D