Silver Lining
Everyone has their own way to deal with stress. As exams loom on the Year 12 horizon, I have noticed myriad outlets for students in the haven’t-studied-all-year-not-enough-time-to-cram-god-I’m-f***ed situation (i.e. most people), including proverbial binge drinking, eating large quantities of highly salted deep fried yellow things, combusting hapless Sims by buying them cheap ovens and not installing a fire alarm or phone, and eveyone’s favourite — denial. Personally, I go for long walks and cry self-pityingly.
All of this actually reminds me of a similarly traumatic era, one that has scarred my family and no doubt millions of others as we try to come to terms with our tragic, shared past: the re-election of John Howard in 2004. At this dawn of a new Dark Age, poor Mum, after much indefatigable campaigning for the Greens, could only find recourse for her pent up disillusionment by making pies. Lots of pies. As you can imagine, this made me happy, especially when they were cheese pies. But Mummy’s anguish still impacted on my Last Exile-infatuated Year 8 Smoothie Brain enough to write her a song, or rather, re-write a universally-loathed and unfortunately ubiquitous song to reflect the terror and economic rationalism of Howard’s prolonged reign…
Obey America Fair
Australians all let us extort,
for we must fund the war:
It matters not whose war it is;
As long as there’s blood and gore;
Our PM lusts for omnipotence
and we bow to foreign rule;
Let’s slash the tax, and never look back,
Obey America Fair!
Let democracy die and kill free speech,
Obey America Faiiiiiir!
Sung in my screechy faux choir girl voice I thought it was rather effective and jaunty. Of course, it’s slightly less relevant now than it was, but maybe in a few years when the Kevin ‘11 Brigade has rolled past and Mum once again commits herself to the kitchen in the service of pastry creation, I will take up pen and paper once more to write Driving Brendan Spare, or perhaps You Don’t Care (you smarmy hypocritical Queenslanderous bureaucrat), and then This Isn’t Fair! when I appear in court over libel charges. W00t.
My coping method is very recondite and complex. It involves yoghurt consumption at 37kilometres per hour and I must always be facing west.
Howard’s demise was excellent. As for Brumby, I’d pay good money to see him go up in pieces.
I cope by focusing on something single mindedly, until my intraspection leads me to a conclusion. I then look the conclusion up on the internet and see how many people had it first.
Not a fan of economic rationalism, Aviva? I suggest you have a look at Reuben’s blog, the most recent post (on that very topic) was contributed to by me.
Nice song, have you thought of the Gilligan’s island theme song as an alternative tune (it works perfectly with the original national anthem).
Wait… why is the title ’silver lining’? It all sounds pretty gloomy to me.
PIES!!!
Now now, don’t get too impulsive. ;)
Aww your poor mum. I remember waking up in a cold sweat prior to the last election in fear that the unspeakable may have happened. Rudd carried our desperation and hope into the last election. We must remember that while we may say Rudd is better than Howard, We may equally say Mussolini was better than Hitler!
As for coping, I was given excelent advice by a wise wom*n…. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”….It’ll be over soon!
Rudd and Howard: Two Peas in a pugnacious pod.
Admirable Alliteration.
I’d like to dub it ’senseless stupidity’.
preface: I am Merry’s cousin. Read her blog today, linked to yours. Found you funny and engaging, read more. Therefore, I = not entirely random.
I just felt a need to comment on the combusting of Sims, seeing as I bought that game when I was maybe 11 and have been viciously addicted since then. I have been known to sacrifice a few of the silly little buggers by fire or drowning to satisfy a need for even the tiniest bit of control over life…
And then, of course, I go for a long walk and wonder about my mental stabillity and whether or not my simicidal tendancies bode ill for actual interpersonal relationships. Hmm.
All hail the fried yellow cheesy things.
Don’t worry, embeeohtwo: I combust Sims and install pools with no handrails to get out on a regular basis (particularly if they’re living in a Gothic-themed house where extra gravestones are the go), and any of my friends will tell you that I am a relatively gentle, non-murdering kind of person (the friends that are still around, that is *creepy music*).